One of the most common fears among people starting their own business is having to ask because they fear being rejected. It also happened to me, for example, they gave me business cards but still didn’t follow up on potential clients for fear of being rejected.
Just thinking about it made me feel awful. While I never had a problem talking to people and telling them about my business and even sharing a few tips, when it was time to spring into action and ask for an interview, I would get nervous and couldn’t go on. It happens to many people.
And something as simple as being proactive and asking for an interview was holding me back from moving forward and growing my business. This impediment cost me many clients throughout the early years of my business. Also naturally self-esteem also suffered.
Why is it so difficult to ask and ask for something?
Why does the simple act of asking put people into avoid mode? Since asking is a key component to success in the areas of marketing and sales. So I decided to end this problem once and for all.
And that is how I embarked on the task of finding a way to ask without feeling the fear of being rejected. And I discovered some interesting things.
There are at least 3 strategies to reduce the fear of asking. They all work and they all make the task very easy. When used in combination, they work even better. Follow them and you will dramatically increase your ability to ask questions without fear of rejection.
Ask Without Fear Of Rejection
Table of Contents
Strategy #1 – Prepare Your Materials And Your Processes
Asking can be very difficult if you don’t have confidence in what you are offering. You need to do your “homework” and create a decent report, some marketing materials, a presentation, or prepare an approach for that first meeting or sales conversation.
In other words, if you are not prepared it is difficult. That’s why I put so much emphasis on first developing good marketing materials and running processes before doing anything else.
Once you are ready, your confidence increases and you begin to feel more motivated to share your report, publicize your services, etc.
Now you are ready to make that call. But what do you have to say?
Strategy #2 – Prepare Your Call
Often people say to me: «I don’t know what to say when calling. I feel clumsy and stupid so I just avoid doing it.” What we need is to create “scripts” for certain situations. You should know that all telemarketers have scripts. Some of the most common are:
Ask if you can bring him something (like a report)
Ask if you can give a talk at their organization
Ask if you can write an article for publication
Ask them for feedback on the talk they attended
Ask them if you can call them back to set up a short interview
Ask them if they would like to work with you
Basic scripts for those questions can be:
I have a report that I think you will find interesting. Can I send you a copy? «·
“I give a talk to organizations like yours on the topic X. Can I send you information about that talk?”
«I write articles that will surely interest your readers. Would you like me to send you some samples?”
“I have a report that goes into more depth about what we covered today in the talk. Please raise your hand if you would like a copy.”
«I think that talking a little more would be valuable for both of us. Can we find time to talk on the phone? «
«I am sure that I can help you with your business. Can we combine a free strategy session? Either
» I would love to work with you. Do you feel my program/service is right for you right now?”
It’s no joke – it’s that simple. The first statement confidently raises the idea that you have something they are likely to be interested in. And then the follow-up question is a call to action – always based on permission (Can I send…?) You can adapt any of these points to your particular situation. These types of simple questions get a very high response rate.
Strategy #3 – Work With Your Limiting Beliefs And Fears
If AFTER you have prepared your materials and processes and developed a simple sales script, you are still hesitating to ask – to offer the report, to follow up on a meeting, or to close the sale – it is likely that your problem is fear.
The fear of rejection, disapproval, and being judged are activated in many people just by the idea of asking. This fear usually comes from some past experiences; It has nothing to do with the current situation.
Asking reminds you of something in the past when you were rejected, or made a fool of yourself, or embarrassed. You don’t want to go through that experience again, so avoidance seems like the best option.
I’ve talked about this for years, but I’ve learned that the most powerful way to get past this kind of stagnation is to identify and work with the “core beliefs” that keep you active, stimulated.
Your basic beliefs are almost always either an “I am” or an “I am not” statement. Some of the most common are:
I’m not good enough
I’m a failure
I’m not worth
I’m not likable/nice
I’m not important or do I have enough experience
I’m not smart/adequate
Remember, these are core beliefs, not superficial ones. Superficial beliefs such as “I don’t have enough time,” “I’m not ready yet,” “I don’t want to be an interruption,” or “I don’t want to be pushy,” are all smokescreens to hide the core belief. How to go beyond your core beliefs?
You ask yourself a lot of questions about yourself to undermine and counter that belief.
Here are some examples:
That’s right? Can I be sure that I am going to be rejected?
Isn’t this belief from the past true, but irrelevant now?
What’s the worst that could happen if I ask?
Is it really going to be as horrible as I think?
Can I survive a little disapproval if that were to happen?
Isn’t it just as likely that they are interested?
Who would I be if I could no longer believe in that core belief?
What are some of the good things that could happen if I ask?
Clients who have made this type of inquiry often find that their fear is almost always worse than reality. They make the calls, set appointments, and get the sale and are even surprised when the clients close!
So, find your core belief (or two) and start working on it, and see if your fear starts to subside and your confidence and results start to rise.
Bonus – A Bit Of Expertise
I was chatting with a colleague before I started writing this note and he asked me if I knew about the “Coffee Challenge.”
The Coffee Challenge, he told me, is a simple exercise to leave behind the fear of asking questions. What you do is go into a coffee shop and buy a cup of coffee. When the employee tells you the price, you ask him if he can give you a 10% discount.
Now, maybe I will or maybe I won’t. But with this simple and insignificant question, you confront your fears of asking and facing rejection. And you also realize that the worst thing that can happen to you is that they answer “NO”. Can you survive that situation?
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